The words we feel too guilty to say and hope someone else will say it first so that we can finally let it out!
I spent fifteen years working before deciding to take the plunge and quit my 9 – 5 job to become a full time mom to my little girls.
Leaving my job after becoming a mom
This is what I had always dreamed of, even before getting pregnant and when my husband finally said the words “I want you to resign if that’s what you want” – everything felt at peace.
The first year was the easy part with my eldest daughter Lea, as motherhood was new to me, I felt so overwhelmed and too busy to even notice that apart from the beautiful little human in my arms, I was missing adult interaction.
Way too often as moms, we are shamed for feeling anything other than complete joy, but the reality is that being a stay at home mom is yes, an incredible blessing, but also a drastic change in the life we once knew.
Life changes after becoming at stay at home mom
We go from working full time, spending 70% of our time with adults, getting dressed up and don’t forget the part about being financially independent, to what feels like weeks where we find ourselves in our pyjamas, our hair isn’t done like it always was before, we don’t have make up on every day and most importantly, we don’t get that same adult interaction that we once had and you only realise how important it is, when you no longer have it.
Positives of becoming a stay at home mom
But what do we get in return? It is immeasurable. We get time. Time with our little miracles that not everyone is blessed enough to get.
We get countless cuddles and kisses. We get to experience every single first mile stone. We are there for all the sick days and the days where they just need their mommy and as much as the loneliness from being on your own can hit at times, I know that i wouldn’t trade it for a single day back in the office.
I think what I’m trying to say, is that it’s OKAY to struggle, it’s okay to feel lonely even if you are surrounded by little humans 24/7, it’s okay to feel lost and blessed at the same time and you shouldn’t feel guilty for a second (even though I know you and I both will). We are all just trying to find our feet in new waters.
Advice to new stay at home moms
If I can give any new stay at home mom advice after being one myself for almost three years, it would be this:
It’s okay to ask for help when you need it even if you feel you shouldn’t.
It’s okay to admit that not every day is easy.
It’s 100% okay to miss going to the bathroom alone !
Find something you are passionate about
Find something you are passionate about that is only for you. A project on the side, a job you can work flexibly from home (that’s what I did) so that you can have the best of both and not forget about yourself.
Yes it may sound like a small thing, but the difference it makes to your day to get dressed and put on some make up makes the world of difference to your morale.
Make time for YOU
This has to be at the top of the list. If you don’t take care of yourself, it will be incredibly hard to take care of these little people that need us to be our best.
It’s okay to have bad days
We are after all, just juggling mom life one dirty nappy, sloppy kiss and first mile stone at a time.
Why I will choose to be a SAHM over & over again
One day, our little ones are not going to need us as much anymore. So if I could go back and choose full time mom or working mom, I’d 1000% choose stay at home mom, every single time.
It gets easier. I promise.
You’ve got this, Mama xoxo