My way or the Airway
12 years of being an airline crew flying freely with one of the worlds best airline, the good salary, the free tickets, the life style, no room for boredom the sky is your office view, new crew, new passengers, new destinations, the hectic schedule the jetlags, the unruly passengers the kind and precious ones the endless take offs and landings all the noise of the busy crew life suddenly stopped when I heard “congratulations you’re pregnant” !!
All the flights were taken off my schedule and until further notice I’m on unpaid leave!
Didn’t get the chance to enjoy “the last flight” I never knew it was my last flight and I never imagined this is how it will end!
“But HEY!! you’re pregnant!! worry about your career later you have 9 month of pregnancy to think and decide” thinking to myself
The mixed emotions I mean I’m going to have my own child!! I’ve always been a huge children lover and always dreamt of the day I’ll get to have my own but at the same time I love my job and now its suddenly gone!
3 months away from having Aliyah, I knew then it’s about time to make the decision, either to get back to flying after my 50 days of maternity leave, settle for an office job with the airline or resign and focus on raising my own child and be a SAHM.
Flying and travelling was my ultimate passion but I found it hard to imagine leaving my newborn baby and travel to other countries staying days away and I couldn’t settle for an office job with the airline I knew I wouldn’t be happy, so with all my heart I decided to resign and be a devoted SAHM for as long as my child will need me and luckily my husband was extremely supportive of my decision while many were against it.
I was in tears submitting my resignation papers. I was called crazy for resigning and Thread “you’ll regret leaving your job” many times from colleagues, friends and family and it got me worried to be honest, what if I’ll regret it?! what if I get bored or lose myself and sanity in the hectic and busy motherhood life?! I wasn’t sure and there was no guarantees, so I decided to take it
A day, a week, a year at a time with no regrets knowing in my heart that for sure I’ll never regret it.
And let me tell you since the moment Aliyah was born almost 3 years ago until this moment I haven’t had a dull moment, talking about the emotional roller coaster, the extreme postpartum depression, the mom guilt for not being able to breastfeed.
And the pain that followed for having to exclusively pump for 6 month, the love, the pride, the sleepless nights, the extreme happiness and the challenges I had to face raising Aliyah away from home without any help, followed by losing my father to cancer, moving to the UAE after living 14 years in Qatar, the adjustments, the sacrifices, the settling and the coping.
I never felt this tired in my 12 years of flying yet never felt so satisfied knowing that I’ve been physically and emotionally available for Aliyah since day one and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Here I am 3 years after I resigned with no regrets only gratitude for being where I am today, I listened, acknowledged and appreciated the advice I was given by many but I did what I thought would be the best for myself and my family at that time,
I followed my heart and I wasn’t disappointed.
I know amazing mothers doing fantastic as working moms rocking the work, home, friends, self care juggle and I admire them so much and I know that this what makes them happy, its doing what they love and holding on to it is what helps them to be the best version of themselves for themselves and for their kids, to be honest I often envied them as they get to take a break from the kids for few hours which in my case is not an option but again I know that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Motherhood is hard whether you’re a working mom, SAHM, working from home, running your own small business, they’re all hard each in it’s own way and challenges, there’s no one size fits all motherhood solution or advice.
Do what makes you happy and what makes you the best version of yourself, it’s what works for you and your family, it’s what makes you satisfied with as little sacrifice and guilt cargo as possible.
Let’s just praise each other with no whys and buts, support one another it’s a heavy load we’re carrying raising little humans and the mommy guilt shadow is always there wondering if we’re doing enough for our kids.
If you see someone taking a life changing decision please support and respect their decisions, please think before offering an advice and remember our priorities in life, mentalities and personalities as individuals are all different and what works for you and what’s important for you might not be the same for me. Do it your way, your way is the best way.