Breastfeeding is the most important nutrition for your baby and I never believed the contrary.
It’s not an easy journey for any mother and we all go through different challenges.
I managed to breastfeed for about 2 months in tears. This wasn’t easy at all. Ronî found it difficult to latch properly and I only learned about this problem after a long time.
I say 2 months of breastfeeding but Ronî did actually breastfeed until he was 16 months old. How though?
It wasn’t an easy peasy lemon squeezy task. It needed time, patience, courage and support.
After 2 months in tears my husband suggested the idea of pumping. He didn’t want to see me in tears anymore. I overreacted to this idea and was very emotional. All the hormone changes post depression so on and on. It got to the point where the pain in my breasts was unbearable. I had no option but to try out pumping. It actually didn’t matter right? Whether you actually breastfeed or pump. What mattered was Ronî to get the most natural nutritions from mamas milk.
My breastfeeding journey actually started here.
I designed a timetable for myself to make sure my supply was sufficient. I had to be up every 2/3 hours to pump plus to feed Ronî. I was technically on double shift. Trust me this is more difficult than a full time job.
I had set a good routine but I was still adamant to get Ronî latched. There was that mama guilty feeling. I probably visited every lactation consultant in Dubai. After each visit I would be in tears. Why can I not get Ronî latched? How can I not breastfeed my own child. Why does this happen to me? So on. This guilt never went away.
Later Ronî was diagnosed with tongue tie but this was not 100% sure. Our paediatrician suggested osteopath sessions as Ronî was leaning mainly on one side and this could have been one of the reasons. Was it though?
We took Ronî to the most lovely osteopath in town. The sessions helped dramatically with the head movements but latching didn’t improve. By this time Ronî was growing so fast, I was continuing with pumping and still searching for an answer and solution.
Ronî was about 4/5 months old I learned about Dr Delphine, the best lactation consultant in Dubai. What a beautiful soul you are! Ronî was finally diagnosed with tongue tie but on boarder line. Dr Delphine was so gentle and sensitive to my story. She tried few new techniques and asked me to continuously try it.
I was exhausted by this time. This is not an easy journey especially where you have no one to support you. No family or friends were around. I had full responsibility of this beautiful and fragile human being plus pumping plus going through post depression.
I had so many negative comments, why are you not breastfeeding, why are you pumping? Why do you do this to yourself? It’s your fault Ronî is not latching properly etc etc etc.
I was adamant that I will do what I think is best for my child not what people around me think or believe.
I finally accepted to continue my breastfeeding journey as pumping mama.
It was challenging I cannot deny but now looking back it was fun at the same time and I have so many memories to share with Ronî.
I remember pumping on the back of a bus in Vietnam, on air planes and many other locations that I can laugh out loud about now.
After 7 months of pumping the layer of my skin had fined and I had terrible cracks. I couldn’t believe this was happening as my supplier was very good. Dr Delphine was life saver. I managed to get rid of the cracks but wasn’t able to pump so I come up with another solution as I couldn’t bear the guilty feeling of wasting this amazing supply that I had. We all know how hard it is to get and maintain high supply of breast milk. I then decided to hand pump. I managed to continue with this until end of October 2019.
The most beautiful part of my breastfeeding journey was, my husband‘s involvement. He would feed Ronî and they had a great bond this way. It also allow me to take some time off whenever my husband was around.
Yes I am a proud mama and I will never regret.
Going through this journey. Maybe I have achieved something beyond my ability but I do believe every woman out there has some power. All you need to do is keep trying and never give up.
Every mama deserves the best and the support needed while looking after the little precious ones. Surround yourself with those who can help and guide you no matter what the situation.
