By Aseel Hawwari

I did not get the chance to share my experience as a mother before and how it made me the strong woman I am today.

Today I believe it is the time to talk about it for what it carries of positive and negative experiences which in turn were the source of my strength in life, and how my motherhood experience empowered my personality to become a stronger person. 

Motherhood Strength

Something to start with; I am a mother of three girls (eight years and six years old twins). 

In the beginning I faced so many difficulties. I gave birth to my twins before even my first daughter  turned 3 years old . The pregnancy was all smooth until I got early contractions in the beginning of the eighth month. At that time my mother came over to UAE to support me during my postpartum period, but unfortunately she could not stay more than a few days as she was going through her final stage of terminal cancer which ended her life three months later.

After my mom’s death I was in deep depression and I really did not know how to manage raising three little kids alone as a young mother under the age of 30 while grieving the loss of my own mother.

My husband is a dentist, and he was always busy with his work schedule.

There were so many times where I talked to myself frequently thinking of the new situation over and over in my head. All I wanted is to manage how to take care of my little kids in the best way because I knew there was no help and I had to figure it out by myself. I did not want to fail, it is my life and my load. I did not give up to my negative feelings, in fact I fought the pressure with all my inner power and I got over my weakness and started managing my new daily life wisely. Motherhood gives you the brains and the strength to do it for your kids. It makes you a stronger and a wiser person.

I taught my children to depend on themselves at a young age. I had to use Baby Led Weaning in order to teach them how to eat by themselves even if it was a mess. I had to put my kids to sleep in separate rooms for their independence. I read bedtime stories with fun that talked about the positive characters they must have. I gave them a lot of hugs and kisses and love. 

I had to let them dress alone to learn more and more. I encouraged the good behaviour and always praised them for it. I never let them deal with negative or selfish people, while I strongly pushed them to get engaged in the society to learn how to respect and accept everyone regardless of color or character or nationality.

It was all under my supervision but I had no choice but to ease the pressure.

I took care of them with love and tenderness, and I was a little tough and determined at the same time.

As time went by, I felt that I wanted to change my surroundings and my whole ambiance. 

I decided to meet new influential people that affect my life positively. I had a strong desire to try new activities that boost my passion and to channel my inner anger and discomfort to something positive. So I decided to start working on my new routine.

I started with swimming and dancing (to release the negative energy) and I included my kids along everywhere. We did everything together. Even during the covid19 situation, we had to keep our walking routine together in the community (with keeping the social distance from others) to make them feel that nothing has changed. I never felt they were a burden to me, in fact they were the source of my happiness in every event. I feel alive when they are around me.

My story about motherhood is long and endless. 

The advice I would love to give to every mother who is facing hard times with her kids is to bear and learn. Motherhood makes you stronger.

Make them less dependent on you at the suitable age and your life will be a bit easier.

This time shall pass and our kids will grow. LOVE them and love yourself. Don’t prevent yourself from any activity you like because of your kids. Make them your partners in those activities. Let them participate with vitality. Enjoy your precious time with your kids being so small while it lasts.