By Joelle
Conscious Parent Coach & Healer
Dear mama,
One thing they didn’t tell us when we signed up for this motherhood journey, was that it was going to be a one way, non-refundable ticket to a total transformation, as a soul, and as a human being, and if you haven’t realized this till now, let me explain a few things to you.
Yes. Today you are a mother. But before you became a mother who were you?
You were a daughter. A sister. A friend. An accountant, a yogi, a bodybuilder, a girlfriend, a fiancée and a wife?
So who told you that you needed to pause all of this the moment you become a mother?
Let’s talk about one important thing, beautiful woman, because to me, you are a woman first.
Our kids mean the world to us. What we go through, to get them into this life
and then everything we go through with them until they grow till the end of our own lives, is just a blessing, and the most rewarding thing we can ever have.
But you need to remember one thing: The first person and the first thing that should always come on the top of your list as a mother, is yourself.
Yes.
You.You.You.
Then your partner should come second, if you are with partner.
Then in the third place, your kids will come, and this doesn’t mean that you love them any less, in any way. And let me tell you why.
As a Conscious Parent Coach I can tell you there is no perfect way of parenting and if somebody’s telling you, I will make you the perfect parent, well there’s something wrong there, because parenting is not meant to be perfect, at all.
It is meant to be the experience it is right now, as you go through it, with all its imperfections.
We come into this parenting and motherhood journey with a lot of baggage, and what I mean by baggage is: our traumas, our limiting beliefs, our fears, the way we were parented, the way society tells us to parent.
So there is a lot of work to be done to release and get rid of all this baggage that we come with into our parenting journey, to create the best scenario that works for us.
Now the helpers who are going to help us get rid of all this baggage, are our kids.
Every kid you have is tailor-made to trigger you exactly where you need to be triggered to highlight to you that specific thing or area that you need to work on.
Do you realize that sometimes you’re triggered by something, but your husband is not triggered by the same thing? Why? Because he’s triggered by something else and his kids are meant to trigger him, just like they’re meant to trigger you, in very unique places, to show you where you need to look closer and work, to transform and have control of your parenting.
You know the moment you start parenting from a conscious place, meaning you know why you’re reacting a certain way or why you were triggered, you start controlling it more and you start becoming a more empowered parent.
You start having more control over everything you’re doing with your kids, but this transformation will also affect all your life, because when you grow as a soul, as a person, it affects everything in your life, and not just your kids. That said, your kids are there to help you, are there to tell you:
“You have anger problems here because you reacted like this when you got triggered, or you have control issues here, so where does the control issue come from?”
And the more you dig, the more you will start healing, and the more you will realize that: “OK. This was a program installed into me, and now it’s going and that allows me to have control over my life.”
This journey of empowering you as a parent and becoming a conscious parent is just beautiful. It’s addictive especially when you start seeing how it reflects on all of your life, as a family, as a mother, as a wife, as a colleague, as a friend.
And it’s such a beautiful thing to be able to know that parenting can become easier and more joyful and fun just by us working on ourselves and connecting to ourself first, so we find ways to connect better with our kids and be closer to them, and this alone should give you hope.
I want you to know that I feel you today. It’s hard to be a mother and some days are harder than others. So please remember that we were all not told what was parenting all about but now more and more people are becoming conscious that it’s all a programming that we need to get rid of to really get a hold of this whole game called parenting.
YOU ARE GOING GREAT and YOU ARE PERFECT in your own way. And always remember: Happiness is a choice. So is suffering.
