Losing Your Identity As A Mom & How To Get It Back

By Lucy Simona

I Am a mom, I am a wife, I am a daughter, I am a friend.. who am I?

Thoughts of a mom who had lost herself and found again

I Miss being Me

Believe me, I love being a mom more than anything else in this world, but I also miss being me. I miss  late night walks with my husband, thinking about what I need to take with me from makeup when I go out  instead of bottles and diapers, toys and formulas, clothes and pacifiers. I miss taking shower when I  want to, I miss sleeping through the night and waking up on my own, when the sun hits my eyes or  when I feel his touch on my cheek, instead of feeling the beautiful scent of my baby’s diaper with the  only thing touching my face in the morning being her tiny foot. Not that romantic right?

Nobody prepared me for it

We mommies  are not prepared for this, no one tells us this from the beginning. I feel there should be classes in  school for girls to understand and be prepared for what’s coming, as the struggle is real. Reality hits you like tons of bricks, one at a time. Exhausted and emotionally drained, sleep deprived, self conscious about my body changes and with the only makeup I wear nowadays; the dark circles under  my eyes. Who am i?  

A Mother’s journey with identity loss

How I started appreciating my own mother

Having a baby made me appreciate my mom and the struggles she went through more. I started to  understand the meaning of her words that once I didn’t give importance to. I became more attentive and  caring towards her. She is my hero, my role model, caring mother, grandma, friend, auntie. She is  absolutely amazing. Who am i?  

Marriage after having a baby

My relationship with my husband changed dramatically. It became more strong yet more forgiving,  more appreciative yet more demanding, more sensual yet more practical. Did the sparkle go?  Absolutely not. It transformed, yes, but it’s still there. And now more than ever I am sure it won’t  disappear until we are there for each other, until we are making an effort, until we are present. I love  him now more than ever. He is strong, caring, reliable and compassionate. Who am i?  

A Mother’s journey with identity loss

I started looking for my old self and just couldn’t ..

It’s hard to peel under all these layers to find the old me. I know that she is there, I feel her, and she  needs me. I have so many questions to ask her, so many things to understand , but after an exhausting  day the only thing I am able to do is to hug her and tell her that I am there for her too.

And she  understands, as she always does. Did she change? What does she feel? What does she want? What  does she like now and what she doesn’t? Well, I am not sure. But that’s ok. She will understand, as  she always does. And maybe in all of this beautiful chaos, in the storms of my crazy daily routine and  endless responsibilities when I completely lost her, that’s the moment when I truly found her, deep  inside, more powerful, more strong, more smart, more giving, more caring.

I found a better version of myself instead

She changed and I embrace it, I am proud of what she became… gentle, sensitive, forgiving, protective, with not the  perfect body as before, totally different priorities, messy mum hair, in yesterday’s pyjamas and with  the hope in her eyes that this is the day, the day I will be able to take a shower. She is a blessed mom,  beloved wife, thankful daughter and caring friend. This is who I am now!

A Mother’s journey with identity loss

Read more motherhood struggles and real moms sharing their honest motherhood journey

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