What my own plan of my birth was like
I feel when you traditionally talk about pregnancy and becoming a mum it’s all beautiful, which made my struggles feel so abnormal.
I had 7 months of sickness leading up to the stage of birth plans. I was so in love with the natural labour and delivery. The water birth, gas and air and just being in the moment with my partner and enjoying it.
How my birth plan changed in seconds
Despite the My best laid plans, imagining that day over and over, how it will exactly go and how would I act. Well, sometimes our bodies and our babies have other plans in mind.
At one of my last scans or doctor visits they found my daughter was breech ( when the baby is in a bottom-first (or feet-first) position), I thought to myself…what does that even mean?
I all of a sudden had to decide, do I want to try an external cephalic version (ECV) or just go for a c section – I just crumbled.
We agreed to try an ECV, which didn’t go well for me as my daughters bum was stuck in my pelvis…but again we tried a second time…no luck.
Grieving My Birth experience
I remember spending 2 days in bed just sobbing at my natural birth being taken away.
I didn’t understand how a birth I planned for months was over so quickly. I was grieving the loss of the natural birth I had in mind.
I really believed I had to almost grieve that loss of my birthing plan. I know people say don’t get hung up on the plan, but this beautiful birth is what got me through my sickness and fatigue.
How I Overcome My Surgical Birth Grief
Looking back on it I completely understand why I felt how I did.
But after experiencing a c section delivery it was SO much more beautiful than I could have imagined. Any delivery really is a beautiful one.
I laughed, listened to music, took pictures and cried. Not much of the natural delivery I imagined really.
It is so hard being a mumma…delivery really is only step 1.