By Hana Sayeb
Mama, there are a lot of people telling you that your life is hard and I’m not here to say that they are wrong. Your life is hard. Being a parent is probably one of the most difficult things we do, but when you throw disabilities and special needs into the mix life can sometimes become completely overwhelming.
I know your pain. I know how alone and tired you feel.
I know, because I’ve been there. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get out of “there”.
I have uttered the words “it’s not fair” more times than I can count and honestly.
I have screamed at the top of the lungs in hopes that somewhere, someone would save me, help me.
But you know what? We can still be happy. I consider myself a focused, organized and dedicated person. But above all else the characteristic I cherish most is my happiness, because that’s what gets me through the hard times and keeps me going.
Do you want to be happy too? Here are some tips that helped me and might help you too…
Tips For A Mom Of A Special Needs Child : What Helped Me And Might Help You.
1. Self Love
Maybe the things you used to do before you had kids don’t quite fit in to your schedule anymore, but that’s ok! As parents we need to find things that we can do that make us feel good while still caring for our kids.
I love to go to the gym or go for a massage for example. Finding something you like may be as easy as taking a 20-minute break in your day to just read a book or listen to your favorite music, but make sure you fit in time for things that make you happy.
2. Make New Friends
Most of us connect with other families in similar situations as us, whether that’s through our children’s school or through online support groups for parents raising kids with special needs.
Try to find people that match your style and can hold conversations that you can relate to. There’s more to friendship than just talking about your kids, so gravitate towards people you can relate to on a personal level too!
3. Learn New Things
Keeping your mind occupied is a great way to maintain your happiness and with a special needs child there is a lot out there for you to learn.
Start by getting to know about your kid. Become their expert. Advocating from a point of expertise is power. A power that no one can take away.
4. Stop Being Hard on Yourself
We all have the tendency to worry that we aren’t doing enough, especially when raising kids with complex needs.
It’s even worse if we compare ourselves and our kids to others. Just focus on what you are doing and be content in the knowledge that you are doing all that you can.
5. Don’t Focus on What Isn’t
You need to know that some things / plans might be hard to do now with your family. Hold the happy memories close, but don’t allow the present to ruin what best to look forward to in future.
6. Stop Being Around Unhappy Judgmental People
In a world full of people, it can be so easy to judge and be judged. And even though that is an easy thing to do, it doesn’t mean we should do it. It doesn’t mean we should judge those who judge us, for me the best is to cut off from such people and stay focused. This includes friends, coworkers or healthcare practitioners.
If we see a doctor who tells me my child will never do something or heal or progress, he will be off my list forever. If you have friends that constantly don’t respect your boundaries or because you don’t accept or mold them, well, they are just not your friends. Or people who are always talking about how bad their lives are, they get voted off the planet
8. Be Positive And Grateful
For every day your kid lives, there is another family who is going through the unthinkable pain of losing their kid or not having a child at all.
You need a reminder of all the positive things in your life and be grateful for everything you have even if it’s not perfect.
Being happy doesn’t just happen, it’s a skill that you need to work on every day.
Happiness often comes from within. Learn how to tame negative thoughts and approach every day with optimism.
Saying that doesn’t mean you should ignore your other feelings. Be real with your emotions and remember happiness isn’t for every moment.
Being kind to others is a proven path toward happiness. So don’t forget to be kind to yourself as well.